The words we use matter not only because they have meaning but because there are consequences to how we use them. Take, for example, the former Aotearoa New Zealand Member of Parliament, who during a recent radio interview defined a woman as a “…person with a pussy and a pair of tits.” Within two days, he’d issued a public apology and resigned from his position at a recruitment agency. Yep, he fucked around and found out!
Politics are rife with inappropriate and harmful dialogue, and women, people of colour and other minority groups are usually at the sharp end of that rhetoric. On retiring from the Invercargill City Council on September 22, 2025, the Reverend Evelyn Cook had this to say, “I wish you to understand the power and the hurt that careless words create. The casual racism. The sometimes-intentional sexism. The misogyny. The lack of respect for one another, that I have seen in this room.”
Language frames our collective consciousness, it shapes the way we think and how we construct reality. When the meanings of words are twisted and appropriated as weapons, it impacts us all. The use of de-humanising terminology is especially dangerous. If a woman is reduced to ‘a pussy with a pair of tits’, then she doesn’t deserve respect or any right to bodily autonomy. It’s so much easier to torture or kill a ‘bitch’ or a ‘beast’ than it is a fellow human being.
The United Nations working definition of hate speech is: “any kind of communication in speech, writing or behaviour that attacks or uses pejorative or discriminatory language with reference to a person or a group on the basis of who they are, in other words, based on their religion, ethnicity, nationality, race, colour, descent, gender or other identity factor.”
Exposure to hate speech fosters an environment of hostility that not only erodes social cohesion, attacks human rights and incites violence, but results in individual and personal harm. People subjected to relentless hate speech tend to experience heightened anxiety, chronic health conditions, lower self-esteem and even premature death. Being aware of how words matter is the first step in preventing that harm.
How society uses language changes and evolves. Words and phrases that were once acceptable in common usage may now carry offensive implications. In my background reading for this blog, I came across an article talking about the history of the word ‘woke’. In the early twentieth century, the word was used in songs to warn black people travelling in racist states to be aware of the risks of being lynched. The songs urged them to ‘stay woke’. So, a word that once meant to be vigilant against the risk of death has been twisted into a pejorative term implying a person is performatively and overly sensitive to perceived societal injustices.
I understand that change can be hard, but to refuse to reconsider your position when challenged by the subject of your prejudice is a deliberately cruel and disrespectful choice. We all need to check our privilege and challenge our internalised biases. I know I’m not perfect, but I strive to do better and when confronted with deliberate and unapologetic misogyny, racism, homophobia, and fascism…I will make my words matter.
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