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Writing Good Sex

10/13/2023

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​Writing good sex is an art. If you don’t want to become infamous by being nominated for a Bad Sex Award, then I have some advice for budding writers of erotica, or anyone who wants to include sex scenes in their stories.
 
Sex ≠ Intimacy
Sex is physical, while intimacy is emotional – a state of mind. Sex is best described using action words: hot, thrust, lust, wet, hard, desire, need. When adding intimacy use emotive words: heart, care, soft, warm, love, want. Both come together in romance but intimacy isn’t a requirement when writing sex scenes or erotica.
 
Writer Confidence
How confident you are affects how you write. You need to be comfortable with the content of your story or risk coming across as shy and hesitant, or even worse - prudish. Readers can sense when a writer is not being authentic. If you think a word is insulting, then don’t use it. Likewise, if you find certain sexual acts perverted, do not write about them. There are plenty of authors out there who can, and will, write on the fringes, so you don’t need to force yourself into spaces that make you uncomfortable.
When writing sex, you don’t need to follow that old chestnut “Write What You Know”. I’ve never fucked an elf, but I write about elves fucking. BUT…you absolutely must do your research. Take care when writing sexualities that are not your own. If in doubt, get a sensitivity reader to check your work.
 
Elements of a sex scene
I think writing a good sex requires much the same approach as writing a good fight scene. Both are physical but should not just be a blow-by-blow account of the action. A good sex scene involves all the senses: taste, smell, touch, sight, sound, it’s not just about the mechanics.
When writing human sex, it must be physically possible. If one of your characters is a middle-aged woman, can she really put her legs behind her ears? And, it always pays to count your limbs. Nothing is more off-putting to the reader than a third hand joining the party! Alien sex is less bothersome - four tentacles? Why not make it eight?
Your readers should have no trouble following who’s doing what to who. This is especially important when the sex scene involves three or more participants. Use the characters’ names or find some other way of identifying who is who.
I do my best to ensure my sex scenes are safe, sane & consensual but I sometimes blur the lines around sanity.
 
Avoid Purple Prose
For the love of all that is sacred please avoid explicit euphemisms for sex and anatomy in your prose. To a limited extent they are OK in dialogue, but really, it’s just best to avoid them. No one wants to read about a character’s love truncheon, towering pillar of manhood, oyster, or love cave.
At the same time, using technical terms can come across as cold and clinical. You need to find terms you’re comfortable using. Again, a little research and sensitivity readers can be invaluable.
 
Purpose of sex scene
Unless you’re writing pornography, sex needs to serve a purpose.
It can help strengthen an emotional attachment between characters and define relationships. Sex can often be used to reveal who has the power in a relationship, or to flip an expectation. Character can be revealed during a sex scene, someone cold and calculating can be shown as vulnerable and needy. A sex scene can expose hidden attitudes and reveal secrets.
 
Know your audience
Be aware of your audience. Putting explicit sex into a YA novel is a very, very bad idea. BUT, if you are writing solely for the erotica market, your readers will expect a sex scene to make them hot! Don’t let them down! Read widely in your genre to understand reader expectations. Personally, I think sex has a place in all genres (except for literature aimed at the under 18-year-old market), but it needs to be handled well so readers aren’t shocked. In the blurb for Letters From Elsewhere, I wrote, “If you like your fantasy and science fiction a bit dark, laced with humour and sometimes spicy, these stories will entertain, disturb and challenge you.” Anyone who buys the collection should know what they’re getting into.
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Creating A World

9/21/2023

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All forms of writing require some level of world building. This is especially true in speculative fiction. The reader needs to have a sense of the environment within which the story takes place. That environment is wider than just the physical setting, it includes all the trappings of a society: art & culture; food & drink; politics & religion; fashion; science & magic; infrastructure & transport; technology & structures; languages & class structure; flora & fauna; disease; races of humans, monsters & aliens; and rules & laws – amongst other things.

BUT (that’s in capitals because what follows is very important) …all the details of the world you create don’t need to be included in your story. I know it’s tempting to include it all that gritty minutia you spent hours, days and even weeks researching and thinking about, but just don’t. Only include enough to provide a scaffold for your reader’s imagination, context for your characters, and to move the plot forward.

Because I’m a discovery writer (I discover the story as I write it), I don’t do a great deal of world building before I start writing. I’ll just do enough to get me going. My typical approach for developing a world is very organic. I start with the main character. Once I understand who they are and what drives them, I can start to write the plot around them. The final step is to construct the world in which the character and the plot exist. This means my writing is often interrupted by periods of research.

For The Grotesque Wars (novelette in Letters From Elsewhere), I spent a lot of time researching castles. The final story only carries a glimpse of all that research. I’ve included just enough so the reader can picture a castle, but not be bogged down and distracted by in-depth descriptions. I know the exact layout of the castle and even details of the materials used in its construction, but these have no bearing on the story. Specifics, where needed, are woven into the story, rather than dumped in as a chunk of exposition.

In my novella, Rose Moon, the story moves between three realms: a fantasy realm; a human realm; and the realm of the seasons. Each needed sufficient depth and vibrancy to make them real. Most of the action occurs in the human realm, so that’s where I needed the most detail. I had to consider politics, religion, laws, technology, magic and the setting. Then, determine how the realms interacted.

In the above examples, the worlds were built on an earth or earth-like reality, but that’s not always the case. I’m working on a series of space opera novella’s, Ghost Assassins of Bijou, where almost nothing about the series universe is familiar. I’ve had to build almost everything from scratch, but I start with the known.
  • The assassins and their targets are human, but different races.  
  • Societies are versions of democracy or autocracy.
  • Religions have distorted to fundamentalism and misogyny.

After that, and because I’m not bound by hard science, I can let my imagination riot.
  • Spacecraft are mechanically enhanced, sentient cuttlefish-like creatures.
  • Intergalactic travel is possible via ‘Punch Flight’.
  • There are multitudes of sentient species other than humans.
  • Universal translators are glitchy, but exist.

Worlds don’t need to be based in reality, but they do need elements of fundamental truths. Readers need to have something or someone they can identify with or understand.

There’s a whole bunch of stuff I have high confidence writing about: women; sexuality; animals; habitats; politics; and the logistics involved in managing large-scale international projects. There’s a much larger list of things I have less confidence about, including: technology; physics; strategies of war; legal systems; and medical procedures. Those differing levels of confidence will dictate how much research I may need to do, which facets of a world will be more important to my story, and whose perspective the story is being told from. For example, if I have a scene set in a hospital, it will be told from the perspective of a visitor or patient, not from that of a surgeon or staff nurse.

Setting is a critical component of world-building. All too often it’s one dimensional – visual. Add richness with the other senses. The stench of rancid milk evokes an almost involuntary gag reflex in most of us. That first mouthful of rich, bitter coffee in the morning is nirvana to some of us, and repulsive to others. Aromas and flavours are powerful drivers of emotion, as is sound. The mewl of a kitten, the screech of brakes, the scream as you plunge a knife into someone’s stomach. Don’t forget the feel of the warm blood as it splatters on your face, the silk smoothness of the dress you wear, and the irritation of the sand in your eyes. Use all the senses to draw your reader deep into your world.

​Finally, it's important to remember that no world is perfect. There will always be dissent, crime, and inhabitants of societies fringes. Recorded history doesn’t always align with reality, it usually suits those who are in power. The same applies to the interpretation of the tenets of religion, think about the difference between a zealot and someone with faith. We’ve bred thornless varieties of lemon trees but left to themselves, they revert. Animal species aren’t meant to be able to interbreed, yet there are numerous examples of hybrids in nature. Don’t limit your world to one dimension – allow it to be full and rich.
 
Here are some of my favourite worlds.
  • Pern – Ann McCaffrey
  • The Dandelion Dynasty – Ken Liu
  • The Murderbot Diaries – Martha Wells
  • Binti – Nnedi Okorafor
  • Discworld – Terry Pratchett
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